Can You Forgive and Not Relate With Them Anymore?- The Concept of Forgiveness

So, for a while I had been battling with understanding the concept of forgiveness. I had been struggling to understand that, if you forgive someone but for good reasons you don't want to relate with them anymore, does that mean you haven't truly forgiven them? Okay so you've forgiven them but do you now pretend to forget that they are poisonous to your well-being? How are you really supposed to act around them? You see because unforgiveness is something I don't even want to play with at all this year, there's just too much at stake. I have invested a lot over the past year and there's too much reward from God to receive. I can't let something as petty and stupid as unforgiveness rob me of them and put all my labour in vain. If you have been wanting to offend me since, now is your chance o, cos I'm giving out free forgiveness this year. I can destroy you next year if you try it again, but for this 2018, you are free. Haha! *Just kidding o*

There are people that though they seem to always come up with creative ways to hurt you but you don't have a single aorta of hate for them in your heart, and you don't need an apology to forgive them every time. However you've accessed the situation and realized they are not good for you. It could be that each time you come close they always seem to lead you into temptation and cause you to do things you swore you would never do again. And each time you ply through that path, it always leads to dead-ends, hurts, regrets etc. It could also be someone whose energy and vibe is just too negative for you, always bringing you down or feeding you with negative gists about someone else, nothing positive ever comes out of associating with them. The bible warns that evil communication corrupts good manners. 1Corinthians 15:33.

Now you have decided to put them at arms length, you don't even want to say Hi to them anymore and you are left wondering, does that mean I haven't forgiven them? Part of the reason you don't necessary want to say Hi to them could be because you know in your heart that that's how it starts... na from clap dance dey start o. This particular "former friend" of yours is someone you share an unusual connection with and you know it cannot just stop at "Hi or Hello", from Hi it will turn to ungodly stares, stupid smiles and blushes, then graduate to "how are you" then "how was your day" and before you know it you are having a 30 minutes conversation non-stop, laughing foolishly and hugging each other. Then you are back to square one again... the cycle of hurt continues. *sigh* I call them "Poison" which reminds me of "Beyonce's song- Poison", haha! I used to love that song a lot way back in school, always singing loud and disturbing my neighbors with my crocodile voice. Oops! Just had goose bumps from old memories... Anyway, put simply, certain people may be what you want, but they are certainly not what you need.

Well thank God that finally, some wise counselors taught me that- Yes indeed you can forgive someone but you do not necessarily have to relate with them anymore, if they are bad for you. As long as you know in your heart that you don't hate them or keep any grudge whatsoever. What do you feel when you think of them? Do you suddenly remember them and think in your heart that, if you have the chance you would destroy their life and entire generation? Are you tempted to talk negatively about them behind their back? Or wash them down with abusive words if they mistakenly approach you? Do you just see them and imagine pouring fresh unadulterated acid on their fine face or any other evil you can possibly come up with? Well, If you don't have such evil thoughts then you are safe, you have indeed forgiven them. God sees and knows the content of our hearts. That was a BIG relief for me honestly, I call it "the revelation of the year"!!! So you mean I have been having headaches for nothing? lol.

It's okay to pluck certain people out of your space, if relating with them hinders your walk with God. Don't be ashamed to put God first, don't apologize for it either, nothing else matters in this life if God isn't first. Be kind though, you do not need to be rude about the fact that you don't want them in your life and you certainly don't need to act like you are better than them. Selah!